It's About Time

Five years. FIVE YEARS.

I know that there are plenty of writers out there who work their fingers to the bone for decades to produce a work that they are proud of, but it usually only takes me a year or so to get a book written that I'm happy with. Not this time.

No, my most loved and hated work to date, the book that I can feel in my bones is a "game changer" for my career, the project that nearly gave me an ulcer when I got stuck three quarters of the way through--this book took nearly five years.

Today marks the end of my final revisions. Content edit is done. Line edit is done. The story has been formatted for print and now I'm combing through and checking every little dot and line for mistakes that my nearly-dead brain may have missed earlier.

I thought I'd be relieved, but the feeling is strangely bittersweet. Adding to the surreal mix of emotions is the coincidence that I dreamed last night about hanging out with a famous writer who I look up to greatly, but who died many years ago. Is my subconscious trying to encourage me or scare me to death? I'm still not sure.

The only thing I know for sure right now is that I'm living through the end of a creative cycle and it hurts. When it's done, and in a few weeks I have a book in my hand, I hope that it will all be worth it.

Today, an old project ends. Tomorrow, a new project starts.

Lessons, Legacy, and Lost (and Found) Focus

Ever since I was a kid, I've had this feeling deep in my heart that all things happen when we need them most - even the bad things. Whether it be a lesson to learn, an experience to change our perspective, or an opportunity that slips away, some part of me has always believed these things fall into the timeline of our lives to add the twists and turns to our paths that make us who we are.

Almost a week ago, I got word from a friend that one of our mutual friends had had a very much unexpected and life-threatening turn in health. She was fine one day, and the next left her literally hanging on to life by a thread. This whole situation not only exhausted me with grief and worry for her and her family, it also made me start to wonder what I would miss or what I might leave behind if I were ever in a similar situation.

Basically, it got me thinking about my legacy.

I know, "legacy" is an awfully heavy word, but it boils down to figuring out what creative contributions I want to leave behind. To know that, I had to think really hard on all of my past goals, achievements, and regrets.

Sure, I have had plenty of goals and quite a few achievements to pat myself on the back for, but whoa do I have some regrets when it comes to the things I truly wish I had done. Instead of beating myself up about it, I decided to be proactive and start making the steps towards meeting those dreams.

First on my list was to shake up my writing habits a bit more than I had since the beginning of the new year. (Let's face it - I've been too soft and lazy about producing the quality and quantity that I know I'm able to create.)

My solution for this obstacle was to join a local writers' group. This is a huge step for me, especially considering that I've been a self-sentenced hermit since about October, 2011. Last night, I attended my first meeting and found it to be everything I'd hoped - a mix of motivated, creative, and friendly people who strive to offer constructive criticism and encouragement. BINGO.

I left the meeting with a refreshed sense of my own creative power, but more importantly with a new mental list of my priorities when it came to using that energy. I realized that I'm ready to push forward and finish a novel that has been treading water since 2010. I knew that I need to revisit the manuscript for Whitehall to refresh my memory and ignite the spark for that story once again. I also resigned myself to the knowledge that in order to get these things done, I have to make a real effort to stay focused and dedicate the time to them that they deserve - even if that means carving time away from something else.

As soon as I got home, I found an email message in my inbox telling me that basically I would not be working on a big contract (aka $$$) writing project like I had originally thought.

OUCH.

Was this the Universe granting me the time I need to give my writing priorities the attention they require? I like to think so, even if it means no paychecks for a while.

This topic reminds me of the concept of synchronicity, and that reminds me of The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I worked through the book back in 2007 when my focus was still primarily on visual arts. The two years that followed were the most creatively productive of my entire life. I'm eager to reclaim that flow, and I think it's time I revisited the book for some help.

Would any readers be willing to join up and work through the exercises in The Artist's Way as a group?

I hope you'll consider it!

Note - The Importance of Accountability

As I begin this new year-long project, I've had the privilege to assess all of the things that did and didn't work to help me through last year's journey. Some of the best progress helpers, including setting aside a scheduled time to work each day and sticking to it, were not really surprising. I discovered that other things, however, were far more important that I had guessed at the start of 2011.

One of the best (and probably the most underestimated) helpers that allowed me to clear the hurdle of 365 days of crafting was to set my daily goal very low. It had to seem easy is it was going to get me to the work table, just like the daily goal here of one simple page. I can always go above and beyond, which I often did last year, but if time is tight, if I'm sick and can barely stand to get out of bed, or if I'm just on the edge of burnout and don't even want to think about writing, it's good to know that I only need to complete one easy page.

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The biggest surprise to me was how much my friends and blog followers influenced my progress. There was a very tight group of folks who stuck with me from season to season, and just their presence, even if they weren't reading every day, was enough to keep me moving when I was ready to call it quits. I'm not sure if it was the fact that so many were watching and holding me as an example that stirred something in me, or if perhaps it was the fear of public humiliation (even if it was only inflicted by me) if I failed to complete the year's tasks that carried the most weight. Regardless, holding myself accountable to others put enough fire under me to reach my goal and I will never take that kind of motivation lightly again.

In summary, this post is more of a request than a narrative. I'm hoping that you will become a regular follower of this blog, and even if you only check in every month or two and comment seldom or never, know that just having your face on the list will be helping me to keep writing. Please sign up using the "Friends & Followers" gadget to the right (it's quick and easy, I promise!) and pass the word to a fellow writer or creator who might also like to support this project.

Much gratitude and many thanks, readers!